Go figure.

I was so excited for the summer it goes to figure that mine has already been a hell of a let down. I miss the city and even the dorm with the attitudinal roommate. I'm doubting my decision to transfer to NIU and the semester plus it may have tacked on to life's "game plan." I'll only be commuting twice a week and am seeking a job for MWF which translates to pretty much no time for myself. So far this summer I had a job I was excited about and then it ended up sucking, and I ended up quitting/getting let go a week plus ago. So I'm still working weekends, when the "game plan" had been to get a job to replace that so I could actually have a life. I only have one prospect and have that job interview on Wednesday. My summer consists of reading books most of the day and then trying to get out of the house, usually by going to Niles' place, to get away from the family before they get home from work. Mom has been insufferable and Dad is his usual unpleasant self. I'm wondering why the hell I decided to stay at school close to home. If I had known how bad things were going to get, I would have applied in a different state and gotten out of here for my last year - 1 1/2. Now I am just stuck here. I'm thinking of applying to grad school in San Francisco but that's still pretty off in the distance. The one reason I am not sure about it is my dog. I am so attached to him that I can't handle even a week without him. He was my dog. Now he's Dad's. It pisses me off because now if I move out I can't take Ty with me since my parents volunteered to take care of his vet bills and stuff when I moved back in after the divorce. Ty loves it here with his big yard too. I kinda thought Ty would be the one thing/person that I wouldn't have to lose. I picked him out when he wasn't even a year old and now he's almost 4. It's crazy how the time has flown. Plus Niles is here for good again. I think in order for me to move across the country, I'd need some closure where there hasn't been any yet. He would need to move on and have a girlfriend or we would have to be strictly platonic friends. So far neither has happened. Shit, how do I get myself into these things. I'm so miserable and it just doesn't seem like things are bound to look up any time soon.