My last day of freedom

Today is my final day of freedom before returning back to school Monday for the start of the spring semester. So what am I doing to enjoy it? Sitting in my PJs watching Law & Order. I am lame! I'm somewhat excited for the upcoming semester. I will find out if I can trudge through statistics and if I can get through my second semester of Spanish, all the while maintaining my GPA. Wednesday I moved most of my stuff to my new room down the hall; still in Ohlson third floor but to my new roommate, Djougine's room. She and I were friends all last semester but it's going to be interesting living together because we have completely different habits. She studies in the evening, I study in the afternoon. She doesn't watch much TV, while I like to have it on in the background often and I fall asleep to it at night. She stays up late, I'm in bed by midnight. So, we'll see how it works. If it doesn't, there are plenty of empty rooms in Ohlson I could be switched to. It's so weird living in the dorms. I feel like the older sister of my entire floor, because most of the girls are freshman. Half of the ones I talk to have never even been kissed; I've been married, divorced, and have other crazy life experiences under my belt already. I find myself keeping silent a lot in the face of their naive optimism. One girl, one of the least mature girls I've met at NPU, was telling me that her and her boyfriend want to get married in the next year or two. She's 18. She said her main goal is to have children. I advised her to try to wait til she's done with school, but tried not to crush her dreams in the process. I guess I had to go through that entire experience to know I want more than just to be someone's wife, so maybe she will have to learn the hard way too. It's funny to think of who and where I was at 18 and where I am now. It seems like a huge step back. Having been out "on my own", working a real job in the real 9-5 world; and now I'm back in a dorm wearing my sweatpants about 4 days a week, divorced, single. As much of a step back as it might seem, it's how I am pursuing what I want out of life. I wish I was finishing up grad school right now instead of in the middle of my undergrad, but I was stupid and took some very wrong turns. I'm glad it's not too late to get back on track. God is merciful.

Yesterday I went to the movies with my ex-boyfriend. We went to see Apocalypto (I have no clue if I'm spelling that right...) and it was absolutely horrifying to me. I am usually fine with violence - my favorite movies are Pulp Fiction and Fight Club, neither are for the weak-stomached. But this one really grossed me out. Too much beheading and barbaric killings. I did like the subtitles and thought some of the dialogue was really great and even hilarious at points, but when certain characters were used as sacrifice by having their hearts ripped out and then their heads cut off... I was less than enthused. The ex knew it was bothering me and didn't even suggest leaving, and that pissed me off. I spent a good amount of the movie texting my friend who suggested I see the movie and telling him what a dick he is for saying I should see it.

I've seen way too many films over the break. The best of which was The Departed, which I've seen now a grand total of 3 times. My goal is to get everyone I know to see it. Leonardo DiCaprio gave such an amazing performance that I almost forgive him for Titanic. If he doesn't win awards for this role, I'll be furious. He was really good in Blood Diamond too, which I enjoyed, but my friend John disliked. Then again, his ADD kicked in hardcore and it was a 3 hour movie. I like just about any movie that deals with Africa and global issues.

I'm rambling. I think I'm going to go take a nap before my friends and I go swing dancing tonight. Maybe read more of Neverwhere (Neil Gaiman). Later:)